Hello all,
I realized that I have failed at posting every other day. And I’ve decided that I will post more than I have been once this semester is over! Only because I have like 3 papers due all that need to be 10 to 15 pages. Which actually is going to be pretty easy I think. Except for my research paper just because those always take me longer to write than fiction which is what my other two papers are. One of my papers, I decided to write the second chapter of my story, or at least part of the chapter. I actually wanted to share to you guys the one part that is the main focus of the chapter to see if you had any suggestions on how to revise it, if you think it needs revised or not.
So I began the chapter with the next day from chapter one. Which I’m not turning that in with it but I think it’s pretty understandable to whom everyone is ans stuff. But It leads to a dinner with Josey and Jason and Jasper. Josey is the main girl, also whose point of view the story is in. Jasper is the older brother of Jason, an elementary school buy from the homework group Josey volunteers with and she is going to watch him afterward because Jasper can’t get off work in time to pick him up. So they are having dinner, because Jasper doesn’t really know Josey he’s only met her the day before. So he picks her up at her apartment but her car is making a weird noise. And Jasper is a mechanic, so he looks at it. They decide to stop at his work before dinner to get a tool he would need to fix it for her. And when they get to the shop, something goes wrong. But also right? Here’s the paragraph I have that I began with to start this chapter.
“We stopped at Jasperās work before going to eat because he was going to help me fix my car but the tool he needed was here. He told me to watch out for the cords on the ground. Jason seemed like he knew his way around the place pretty well. Which makes sense considering heās probably been here many many times. We got to Jasperās tool box and he started looking for what we were going to need. I was looking up at some of the cars they were working on when I heard a door slam. I jumped in front of Jasone, turning around. But before I knew it Jasper was in front of me. Aw, so cute. Heās protective. This is not the time to be thinking about how cute he is. What is wrong with me. Looking ahead, I saw a man pointing a gun at us. My first instinct was to do whatever I could to protect Jason. I immediately began looking for something I could use as a weapon. There was a lot considering there was all of the tools lying around an auto body shop, especially being close to a tool box. Before I could choose what tool to grab, I felt my body begin to heat up. Looking down, I saw an orange tint to my skin. Fire began illuminating from my body. What is happening to me. I could tell no one else could see what was going on. I was so angry, I didnāt really care what was actually happening to me, I just let it happen. My entire body engulfed in flames and I watched it turn to fire, into a Phoenix. Iāve always had a slight obsession with them, how one becomes one, but Iāve never turned into one. I stared at the intruder as a bird. Glaring, I met his eyes. I watched him drop the gun. I watched his expression change, into somethingā¦. It almost looked as if he looked at the bird with confusion but recognition? He took off out the door. Changing back into my normal body, I was met with stares from Jasper and Jason. We were all thinking the same thing. What just happened? “
So yeah, that’s my idea so far. Let me know what you think. Do you think it should be as early in the book as chapter 2? It’s only in chapter 2 right now because I needed to write a chapter for my class and my first chapter is almost complete but not yet. I also don’t want the book to be a slow starting book, ya know? So yeah, please tell me what you think!!
I plan on writing again soon. But again, I have three papers due, two exams, and of course Endgame. Which I am so excited for!!! It’s going to be so good. I can’t wait. It’s sad that it’s the end, but still exciting because the end is the beginning of something else.
Thank you! Have a great day/ night! šš
Nerd Words 